Zip-Zap

Zip-Zap, this here, there that, what doesn’t rhyme with hat, even though the spellings do match, complex language, so to a simple rhyme I latch, I know not of poetry and prose yet some day I hope to turn pro.

I am all over the place right now. Weeeee. It sounds whimsical, but if I do not maintain trivialty my mind races into doom. Like a child, I must keep it occupied lest it start trouble and set fire. This time, I will not ask it to calm down. Go play kiddo. No need to meditate or write about your feelings. No need to do your chores which are now awfully bore.

Where to go? Everywhere. If the other side of this answers it with nowhere. Well, I like him too. He is calm and peaceful. I know he worries I might say or do things that hurt me later. So I hope to find a safe space. Where to put this energy?

Ugh. I wish I could lucid dream. I lack the tools and motivation to do much here. Don’t get me wrong, I still lend my energy to tasks. I still do my one hour of music, of reading, half an hour of writing. I still wake up at 4 and journal. I still do my routine and go for a walk. Poor Karan, he tries to give me things to keep me occupied and tired. He runs out. For when I do come out all tasks are done. Now what?

Perhaps the goal is to tire him out. Giving tasks is difficult after all. Sometimes I get disappointed. I am learning to deal with setbacks. Sometimes I wonder if I am even needed, I feel invisible. Where are my people?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

No hunger, no thirst. Is there thirst? Ok little bit thirst. Bad posture. Is it truly bad posture or the thoughts of it that cause pain?

What would I do if this was a dream? Wow, I cannot even imagine. What if this is the dream?