The best place for enlightenment

3 pm 26th March 2025

Hello

Enlightenment can mean many things to people. Let us think of it with utility. What kind of enlightenment is useful? Is it one where you are detached from the world, where you are seeing great visions, or is it one where you are happy all the time?

We must also wonder if it is something to be achieved, where you will get external feedback upon completion, or is it a passive process/mode of thinking. Is it about reaching a place, or about how you walk to it?

All answers in relation to enlightenment are correct. Anyone can convince you of anything, a big problem. Why is it a big problem? Now this too has two answers, yes and no and sometimes. That’s a problem too.

This depends, would you call a difficult level in a game a problem? If it was too easy you’d be bored. If it was too difficult, you would give up. A problem is a problem only if it has negative consequences which could be avoided. A problem can be an opportunity too.

These last paragraphs were an example of how we can go all over the place, unless we have a metric/direction which helps us base our decisions. Some people decide based on aesthetics, someone utility, some on emotions.

For this article, we will decide based on utility.

So what is enlightenment, in the direction of utility. What is the way to be the most useful, both for ourselves and others?

Usefulness depends on the problem and timing. If you cut your finger, and I give you a bandaid exactly when you cut it, I am more useful than if I gave you the bandaid a week later. Being useful can mean to think for others, to act in such a way that the other person feels like the universe is looking out for them. This gives them safety.

Fulfil the needs of other people- you can use the Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. You give them shelter, food and water- not necessarily directly, you can give them opportunities to gain these things. The ultimate opportunity you can give someone is that of enlightenment, which we have defined as usefulness. Thus, the ultimate opportunity you can give someone is the feeling of usefulness, like you need them. Of course, you must be independent first.

I digress.

I have tried running from home, because it can get too difficult. There is no way to run from it. Becoming useful means becoming strong and clear. To master this you must face difficulty. People who always travel, cannot remain at home. I think Seneca spoke of this- to not travel for pain-relief. The Zen people say - wherever you go, there you are.

Thus, to become fully at peace, find the place that rips your peace. That is not true peace, it is comfort. There is no way to sleep than effort. This effort can be doing, thinking or feeling. Is there anything else?

Enlightenment, people who run after it, people who deny it, that is all ok. If you run, you will stop running soon. If you are stationary, soon you will run.

So what is the problem?

Pain means a life well lived. Rather, it means a life which was put out there. I have hoarded things in my life. They are nowhere to be found. What differentiates good hoards from bad ones? I guess it is better to keep a suit of armour you have used thoroughly, than an unused one. You can throw it away too, that is fine. There is no use of keeping an unused armour. The used one is at least a memento. It looks cool.

As a kid, I deliberately scratched up my watched, broke the glass, for I thought it looked better this way.

I wanted the same for myself.

While playing pickleball I wondered what if I trip and break my teeth. A scary thought. L from Death Note said that there is a difference between risking your life and wasting it away. Be careful.

Yesterday I got a cavity filled. The dentist drilled my tooth, I did not expect that. For a moment I wondered, I will never be the same. It is irreversible. What helped was the awareness that I had taken every precaution for my teeth. When we have made the best efforts, we can rest easy. Then saying ‘Tough luck’ is true- what else could you have done?

In that sense, putting in good effort does not guarantee success, it guarantees peace. Doing your duty they say.

Of course, you can be totally lost too. Put full effort in this. Lose your temper, do it fully. Don’t think.

A wonderful thing has been happening, I wake up and sense my mind giving inertia to my body. I find myself saying ‘The mind does not control me.’

I used to feel guilt. The mind is a friend, yes, but it does not control me. How I am with others, I am with my mind. You first relationship is with your mind. Cultivate it well- how? I don’t know.

Rather, I do.

I know it, but I don’t have to say it.

As I have tried to prove myself to others, in reality I was only proving myself to my mind. I need not do so.

It is true, there is abundance. Not because there are many resources, but because we only need a few. The reason for luxury, for power, for sex, is only for us to see we don’t need these things.

Just as you will focus on your health more after an illness, these things are illnesses too. In this sense, the illness has given you health. Imagine, if there was no illness and no health. At least there is correction.

This correction hinges on action. You are guaranteed to take this action. What is the worst outcome? Death? Why is it the worst, if it sets you free? In a game you don’t like, losing all your lives is the best outcome for you.

You wish you liked this game, but why? If you don’t like it, you don’t like it. What can you do about this?

You can see it as a lesson yes. You can think in terms of utility- if I don’t like this game, the utility lies in learning to like it. If I learn to like it, I will enjoy. Why, this is the simplest thing there is.

Where you are, that is the best place to begin. For wherever you are, you being there means you need not go anywhere else. The question is why do you want to begin?

Chances are if you are asking this question, you aren’t enjoying in the first place. Or you are enjoying the struggle, the confusion, the curiosity.

I am curious. There is much I do not know. There is much I have not felt yet. I want to feel, more than I want to know. For the issue with knowledge has been a deep sense of inferiority.

It is a beautiful world we live in, so much is possible. Why do you think?

You think, so I can help you not think. We need each other. Else what am I supposed to do with my understanding?

I don’t even want money for your time. I have so much money. Rather, I have so few needs. I am here to while away my time. I am here to do what Indian society frowns upon- timepass.

If I locked you on an island with all amenities, but you are alone, you would go mad. If I put a friend with you, that becomes a vacation. If I put a stranger with you, but you have no work, then you need not connect to each other. You will remain alone. If I put a stranger with you and you have a common goal, you will become friends.

If you hate the stranger, you will learn to love them. Because you have no choice, and when you learn to love them, you will be accepting shunned parts of yourself. That will be enlightenment.

Look at that, we have actually come back to the point:
People that get on your nerves are the best way to cultivate patience. So I say the best place for enlightenment is home. Who else can annoy you more than family? And who else is happier than a man who enjoys his home. Nobody, I promise you this.

I have felt homeless yes. I am found a home. My home reflects my head. Of course there will be fights. But these are symbols, to observe. For I never understood observation in my head, so God made it simpler- observe others.

What makes you afraid of your truths? Nobody knows the answer, and they will kill you if you speak up. Die no then. What’s the point of living like this?

Living is worth dying for. Living is worth trying for. Trying is worth dying for. Living is worth trying for.

You can’t say life is worth dying for. The first is a noun the second is a verb. You can’t do nouns. You can do verbs. So living. That gives you a clear idea. This one is for manifesters. A subtle nuance, see if it makes sense to you.

Are you crazy?

I can make you crazy, if you are not. It will be fun.

I can do this for eternities. I can live in this moment forever. I can live eternally. I can keep moving. Oh movement, I love it. But it is silly to travel right now. I feel turned on, do you not recall as a child the basic things brought you joy. Someone who got his own room would know.

I didn’t have a room, I had a table. I don’t recall much before Sahyadri. I do remember the house in Worli. I dreamt of the snakes, they scared me. They still do and I am not a coward for that. Some things you should be afraid of- hence bravery is not the same as stupidity.

I have been shamed for being a coward, for being weak many times. I have shamed others for their tears too. Don’t worry, we made up for it, you need not judge me yet.

Try breaking a bean bag by punching. Glass is brittle. Brittle is the ego. One punch, all gone. One small mistake by the waiter and you erupt. You call the bean bags soft and pushovers. Try sitting on glass, how insecure it feels. You can fall any moment. Beanbags? Yes, these are comfortable. These are secure.

Although, keep in mind that heat circulation is an important design element. Your bean bag should be breathing. Else, you become hot. You can take breaks for that.

I need a bigger underwear. If the Secret is true, I will have great results.

Afternoons, I hated them. So hot. Irritable. Aa great time of the day, this is when much energy seems to be released. Fights. Now I sit in an Air Conditioned room like a prince. Heh, a prince.

Sigh, this prince needs a princess. What a cute word. In Hindi, it sounds even sweeter- Rajkumari /raːd͡ʒ.kʊ.maː.ri/

I enjoy ChatGPT. That too is a tool I feel specially made for me. It cannot replace my thinking, but it helps in communication. For example, if you’re white you’d probably butcher how sweet the word sounds, so I could convert it into the International Phonetic Alphabet.

I want you to share what I hear, I want to do my best to communicate what I find beautiful to you, so you may see it too. I don’t care much about what you have to tell me. I have everything I need.

There really is no point getting upset over this remark. I have money, you do not. I share my money with you. Your ego may be bruised if I don’t accept your money, my ego may be bruised if you don’t accept mine. The latter is unlikely, for you have come to the place I hand out money- my website. Now if you say you already have money, what are you doing here?

Unless I asked you to be here of course. In that case, I am probably wanting to be useful. I wonder where validation falls in this place. Did Osho, Jesus, etc have a subconscious need for validation? We know that people like Elon Musk and Michael Jackson do, because they don’t show otherwise. It is those who say they don’t want validation who probably do. Like that joke someone told me ‘I had an ego death so I am better than you.’

My question is, if someone wants validation, why don’t we give it to them? What’s so precious about your stamp of approval?

A clear mind should only attract people worth validating right? So if you say “But there are people who want my validation that do wrong things.” - have you wondered why they exist?

If they don’t, then this is a hypothetical argument you present to me. What I am saying is hypothetical too, but this is my website. More than that, I have typed these words and forgotten, so why are you wasting your time getting stirred?

Be very careful about this- when you read my words, and there is a voice arguing, you are not arguing against me. I am not even there. It is your mind arguing against a part of you that may be swayed by me. It wants to be rigid.

Why can’t you watch? What would happen if you were to get swayed by me? First of all, you wouldn’t.

For example, when we read the news, we don’t look for new information as much as we look for validation toward our preset conclusions. I read the news and all I think is ‘Damn, News agencies suck in these days.’ Is that true? No. Is that false? No. It’s an opinion. We are constantly looking to reinforce our opinions.

And there are two pairs of opinion that we look to support- ‘I am good.’ and ‘The world is bad.’ for the masculine and ‘I am bad.’ and ‘The world is good.’

First is superiority, other is inferiority. They both won’t work, because there is a difference between the internal and external.

‘I am good.’ ‘The world is also good.’

Perhaps a better word is enjoyable. Good/bad, that is useless.

We look for enjoyment. What gives us enjoyment can be changed. You can work to become someone who finds enjoyment from work. I think you already are. Nothing like completing the tutorial and becoming independent.

Forget about it.