Quarantine Blues
Some people enjoy isolation, some do not. Whichever category you belong to, we all have limits. As the quarantine stretches from one week to two months, I have forgotten what my school looks like. When I think about it, so far 20% of my year has been spent indoors.
Staying indoors might be fun at first, but it is a petri dish for negative thoughts to multiply. Watching pictures of people being productive and successful really does not help.
You may have a voice making you feel bad for being unproductive. I know I do. It wakes me up each morning saying Good morning useless and keeps me from sleep each night. A ton of projects come up in my head, yet I am not sure if I want to do things for my own self or to please societal expectations. Then, if I say “Ah let it be, I will not do anything and just chill” my head responds with “Exactly what a lazy person would say and do, use the quarantine as an excuse for laziness.” What a bottomless spiral! I feel bad about not doing stuff, then I accept it, then I feel worse for being complacent.
If anyone else feels this way, there are a few things to be tried.
Try writing. Maybe it can be a video/written/audio diary. You can also share any quarantine stories or feelings over here- especially the bad ones! Just send them to me.
Waking up early is difficult, especially with no early morning obligation. However, if you can manage to get in the habit of sleeping early, the rest will follow. Personally I manage to wake up early for 3 days, sleep in for the next 4. It is far from perfect, but something is better than nothing.
Quarantine is easier due to the internet. But exercise caution. It is easy to spend hours away on reddit or instagram watching other people be productive. My brain is quite sadistic, it makes me see those posts and then when I am trying to sleep, it reminds me of everything that I am not doing. A quick remedy to that is putting your phone anywhere outside your workplace before sitting down to work. Sometimes I even forget where I put it. When I find it, contrary to popular belief, the world is still spinning. People don’t need me, so why pretend?
People might also hammer you with ideas saying you should learn a new skills. “You will never have so much free time, use it well!”. Go ahead, follow them. Failure is likely. In pre-quarantine existence it was not a lack of time that kept up from learning new skills. Heck, even with extra quarantine time we fail. This is because it is a lack of time management that ails us. Learn how to effectively manage time before any other skills.
Which brings me to the next point, everyone has a different pace but progress is progress. We often tend to forget what is important to us. If you remember that, everything seems easier as your priorities are set.. Think about what your goals are, where you want to be after the quarantine, because it will end. Moreover, it is important to compare yourself today to yourself yesterday. How are you different? How are you worse? How are you better?
You will not always get better. Sometimes you are caught in a landslide, seemingly unending. That is the time to bring in external resources. Therapy, if you can access it, goes a long way for technical mental issues. My mom thinks therapy should be a last resort, when you are all alone and out of friends.
In a way I agree with her. A major obstacle we face is the lack of close communication. It is important to cultivate friendships and maintain them. Especially in a quarantine- make sure you check up on your friends. Share your feelings, listen to them.
Some mental issues are like lice. Once they get in your hair, it takes a long time to remove them. Therapy removes lice. While maintaining honest, caring relationships is the equivalent of keeping your hair trimmed. As someone who has had both the metaphorical and literal lice, it’s a pain. It is not impossible to remove lice, but maybe don’t get any in the first place.
Whatever it is, take care. Do your best, if you want to. No pressure. Do things for getting better, not to please others.