I see myself in pain right now. Well, for my birthdays. I would like to be in a place where each one of my day has been dedicated to others. I wish to go all out for them. I recognise one aspect of my humanity, and that is my birthday.

On this day, I have often experienced a lot of pain. I am not myself. I feel too much. Especially when others try to make it nice for me.

I would like this day off. I would like for people who love me to protect me on this day. This is the day I wish to be loved and cared for without my effort. For on this day, I do not know if I can put in much effort. I get paralysed. It physically hurts.

I only hope people understand and can forgive this. I hope they can be kind to me on this day, as it is a moment of great vulnerability. This will imbue me with the energy to carry on for the rest of the year in their service.

If not, know that I am here. I’ll whisk you away from this weary world when needed, and we shall forget about it all.