In the past years, I have lost my vocabulary. I never texted like this. My texts were once carefully written. Careful need not mean slow. It means deliberate. I had a vast vocabulary, and many ways to frame a sentence confidently. This was lost.

As I begin reading, I come across difficult words. Perhaps more dnagerous than the words we do not know are the ones we believe ourselves to know. Many words have a specific purpose. This purpose cannot be guessed. If I see a word like preceptor, I vaguely can guess the meaning. I did so, and I was wrong. When I am wrong, not only do I not understand the meaning but I also lose out on a potential new word I could have learned.

Fortunately I have the time. Time is all I have. I would look up the meanings online. Using my phone often leads to distraction. I end up browsing through other applications. Everything in my life that I hate the world enjoys. I began to enjoy it too. I am an old fashioned child. So I bought a dictionary.

It is a big one. I like it, as I do not have to hold it down with my hands. It can remain open as I read. Each time I look a word up, I can tick it off. This dictionary feels like a long companion. The first time I looked a word up, I realized that in the process of looking one word up my eyes glance through so many more. This felt groundbreaking. It was something my phone could not offer.

When I glance across these many other words, I send a message to my mind- ‘Look! So much we do not know!’. So much which cannot be guessed, but requires effort to understand. People are the same way.

In my ignorance, I often glance at them and guess their meaning. This is a poor judgement. Only when I take the time to interact with them do I understand their meaning. It is better to be ignorant, than to pretend understanding. So until my social skills return, I shall remain ignorant.