There came a point last night, an urge to leave everything overcame me. In this recognised something wonderful, that the only reason I exist, is for my parents. It was clear to me that when they pass, I shall pass as well. I shall no more associate with the world, they are the last remaining part of my identity.

‘But’ I asked ‘Is this not attachment?’ Indeed it is. It is an attachment, but I am a gracious God. I shall let him have this, for if I were to make him sacrifice, my love will not be conditional. His parents are the only things he loves, he is attached to. If he were to even try letting them go, it would not sit, for it is simply not required. The heart knows which pains are necessary. To those, it complies and surrenders. Try to force pain unto your heart, you will suffer needlessly.

So I enjoy this final bond. I love them beyond life itself. I love them to the point that I am willing to remain, suffering, attached. I live to serve them, take them wherever they wish. To be with them is my final desire. All else shall fall in place.

Let me be a good son.

So blessed I am for them. That I get to realise this bond I have. Whether they see it or not, I keep it and this proves its reality. Unconditionality. It is my desire to travel with my father. It is my desire to create with my mother. After them, I do not want this. All of this is only a tool to sculpt a life with them. After them, I have no need for these tools. I can let go and be one.

Does this mean death? No, it means rebirth.

My brother, what of him? He is the last of us. I know not what he means to me yet.

This is the second time sannyas has come, only to be halted by thoughts of my parents. This link will automatically go, with ease, as they pass.