Rolling Stone
Hello! I hope you are well. I have aphantasia. I am working on it, and some visions come. One of them, I would like to share with you.
It blows my mind how people can visualise. In my guided meditations, I cannot visualise the way the person is saying unless I try. It can get frustrating at times, and I feel angry. I mask this anger by saying hey maybe that means I am special, but really deep down I feel like I am missing out.
You may feel this way too. Even if you can visualise, you may feel this way about something else. If you are like me, but you can visualise, you may feel that by being able to visualise you are missing out on the experience I am describing, that what I have is better than what you have.
Fret not, it isn’t the exact journey, but I believe deep down the experience is the same. We may both eat cake and describe it differently, but the cake is the same. In fact, even the taste is the same. It is our subtle interpretation that comes from the various experiences we have had that colours the taste, and then our choice words is different too. In a sense, it is a game of Chinese Whispers.
You and I are hearing the same thing but because we express it differently, it seems different. In such a case the ego can arise, where the difference is created. The ego does not look at the thing, but at the expression.
So do not worry, if you feel the way I have described, it is not you. You are perfectly good, and I would love to meet you sometime and see how you express your cake.
With that aside, I hope you are more receptive. It is a visualisation for thoughts.
Imagine a rolling stone between two hills. It is released, it oscillates, and then settles to the middle. Here, it falls in through a hole. You have the choice to keep pushing the stone though, and it takes much effort to do so up the slope, then you get flattened by the incoming boulder.
This is my visual analogy for a thought. They often say, observe your thoughts. This is tough to understand for me, but the analogy helped so I hope it helps you too.
When we release a stone, or the stone gets released by our environmental triggers, that is a thought. The thought has a momentum of its own. When you overthink, you are facing powerful thoughts, big boulders, and you are pushing them as well, adding to their momentum. The issue with pushing a huge boulder up a hill is that it will come down on you once you are tired.
Hence, when we supply thoughts with our energy, they can flatten us.
To observe a thought is to watch this boulder oscillating from a far. The great thing is that there is a hole in the middle of the path. When it has speed, the boulder does not fall through this, but when the momentum dies- and it will die, as you are not providing energy- the stone falls through the hole.
You have a finite number of stones, this I promise you. But they must all fall down the hole. Sometimes, the same thought can be running for years. Do not worry, the process is the same. Step back, and watch the boulder. I know I make it sound easy, it is technically easy, but tough. Like saying okay to play a piano piece you just need to hit the right keys at the right pace.
I don’t mean to say it is easy, I mean to say it is simple. You will figure your own way out with this, and I only hope that the analogy helped. It helped me to express it to you. I wasn’t going to write about this, I felt wrong thinking I am telling people what to do.
Do you want to guess what I did with that thought?