A great way to understand if what you engage in is true forgiveness or is it mere carpetry is to ask yourself do you feel powerful. Forgiveness only seems to count when it feels like a choice, and choice is reserved for the powerful. Is that not why God, all powerful, is considered all forgiving?

Thus, to truly forgive, you must have power. Then you must let go of this power to destroy, and that is a scary choice to face. Would you truly let it all go had you the chance at retribution? This is when mettle is tested. So build yourself, gain power, then your sinners will come to you. That is when your virtue shall show and I hope you forgive them. Else you become one of them, and you have failed in ending this cycle of violence.